Robertus Picks a Winner!
On a cool and rainy April night, I laid my head down on the glass coffee table beside the burgundy couch, and closed my eyes, dreaming of hockey pucks and knuckleballs. And when I awoke, three games had passed in the first round of the Eastern Conference playoffs. Somehow, the Rangers had not yet been eliminated.
To the East, to the East
Ottawa (1) vs. City of Tampa (8)
When last a team did sip from the Chalice of Victory, it was the City of Tampa Lightning wetting their whistles. Led by veteran (read: old) Dave Andreychuk, Nikolai Khabibulin, playoff MVP ("Conn Smythe") Brad Richards, Martin St. Louis, and perrenial Thomas Klouczek Memorial Award favorite Vincent "It's Vinny" Lecavalier, the Lightning won out over the Calgary Flames in an outstanding seven-game series. The sun descended on the NHL.
When next the sun shone on the Lightning, Andreychuk had retired to a beach in sunny Nova Scotia and Khabibulin signed in sunny Chicago, and the Lightning found themselves struggling to defend Lord Stanley's Cup.
The
Senators, in the meantime, returned one-time Next One Jason Spezza, the formerly hirstute scoring machine Daniel Alfredsson, former New York Islanders Wade Redden and Zdeno Chara, and 240-year-old goalie Dominik Hasek. Already a favorite to win the East (even I picked them), they shipped prima donna Marian "Stop Calling Me Maid" Hossa and Greg "Rules" DeVries off to Atlanta in exchange for the Most Recent Next One Dany Heatley. Fifty goals and 103 points later, I'd say that trade has worked out rather well.
Robertus Predicts! Despite the goaltending questions, the Senators have far too many weapons for the City of Tampa. Somehow, this fact led one commentator to pick the Lightning in seven, leading Robertus to wonder, again, aloud How many Stanley Cups have you won, Scott Burnside?.
Ottawa in five.
Carolina (2) vs. Montreal (7)
Led by the solid goaltending of Martin "404ed" Gerber and the veteran (read: old) presence of Doug Weight, Ray Whitney, and Rod Brind'Amour, and urged on by most of their fifteen fans, the Carolina Hurricanes surprised many columnists named Robertus this season with their inspired play, finishing one point behind the Senators in the East, and taking the Southeastern division handily over first loser City of Tampa. Very quietly, or so it seemed to me, former New York Islanders coach Peter Laviolette pointed his team toward their second Stanley Cup finals.
Led
by veterans Alexi Kovalev and... veteran Alexi Kovalev, the Montreal Canadians surprised precisely nobody. The only shocker perhaps being the emergence of Cristobal "Who" Huet as a legitimate French Canadian goaltender in the mold of Patrick Roy or Andre "Red Light" Raciot, to speak not of erstwhile Roy heir Jose Theodore (unceremoniously dumped off to Colorado at the trade deadline straight up for Roy benchwarmer David Aebischer).
Robertus Predicts! Although the common wisdom says "go with the higher seed," I can't shake the feeling that a hot Huet could be the difference maker in this series. Although the common wisdom says "Robertus, your gut led you to pick Pittsburgh to win the Atlantic," I can't keep from going back. I am nothing if not stubborn. Montreal in seven.
Added Bonus! As an added bonus for all of my French Canadian readers (I know you're out there, I can hear you breathing), I have decided to post all Montreal Canadian items in English and French! Unfortunately, I don't speak a word of French, and so I've decided to let the Internet do the translating for me! For extra fun, use the Internet to translate the following back into English!
Now, for the first time, I present Robertus En Francais.
Carolne (2) vs. Montréal (7)
Mené par goaltending plein de Martin "404ed" Gerber et le vétéran (lu : la vieille) présence du Doug Weight, du Ray Whitney, et du Rod Brind'Amour, et recommandé dessus par la plupart de leurs quinze ventilateurs, les ouragans de la Caroline a étonné beaucoup de chroniqueurs appelés Robertus cette saison avec leur jeu inspiré, finissant un point derrière les sénateurs dans l'est, et prenant la première ville de perdant d'excédent du sud-est de division maniablement de Tampa. Très tranquillement, ou ainsi il a semblé à moi, l'ancien entraîneur Peter Laviolette d'insulaires de New York a dirigé son équipe vers leurs deuxièmes finales de tasse de Stanley.
Mené par des vétérans Alexi Kovalev et... le vétéran Alexi Kovalev, les Canadiens de Montréal n'a étonné avec précision personne. Le seul shocker peut-être étant l'apparition de Cristobal "qui" Huet en tant que guardien de but canadien français légitime dans le moule de Patrick Roy ou d'André "lumière rouge" Raciot, pour parler pas de l'héritier d'autrefois Jose Theodore de Roy (sans cérémonie vidé au loin au Colorado à la date-limite commerciale directement vers le haut pour benchwarmer David Aebischer de Roy).
Robertus Prévoit! Bien que la sagesse commune indique "allez avec la graine plus haute," je ne peux pas secouer le sentiment qu'un Huet chaud pourrait être le fabricant de différence de cette série. Bien que la sagesse commune indique "Robertus, votre intestin vous a mené à sélectionner Pittsburgh pour gagner l'Océan atlantique," je ne peux pas garder de retourner. Je ne suis rien si non têtu. Montréal dans sept.
Bonification Supplémentaire! Comme bonification supplémentaire pour tous mes lecteurs canadiens français (je sais que vous êtes dehors là, je peux vous entendre respirer), j'ai décidé de signaler tous les articles canadiens de Montréal en anglais et français ! Malheureusement, je ne parle pas un mot de Français, et ainsi j'ai décidé laisse l'Internet fais la traduction pour moi! Pour l'amusement supplémentaire, employez l'Internet pour traduire le suivant de nouveau dans l'anglais pour vous!
News Flash! ESPN is reporting that sure-fire draft pick and former University of Southern California quarterback Matt Leinart had breakfast this morning! Details forthcoming. Now back to our irregularly scheduled weblog.
New Jersey (3) vs. New York (6)
Sitting back on the burgundy couch, I often find myself thinking fondly of my early youth, those odd peewee or bantam seasons when my team would somehow make the playoffs. Without fail, we would lose in the first round, and a coach or parent, attempting to heal our crushed and shattered hearts, would utter "at least you can say you made the playoffs."
To this, my Rangers, take note from The Big Lebowski, strong men also cry, strong men also cry.
Robertus Predicts Devils in Five
Buffalo (4) vs. Philadelphia (5)
Unfortunately, the Senators v. City of Tampa game has just come on the Outdoor Life Network, and the ADD is acting up, and I'm horribly, horribly distracted by John Tortorella's nose hairs and Tim Novak's line calls. Tim Novak once came to teach a referee clinic, and he skated me so hard I felt like throwing up for a month. For no other reason, I'm spending as much of this off season as possible on the treadmill. But I digress.
Robertus Predicts! Buffalo in six. Hooray common wisdom!
To the East, to the East
Ottawa (1) vs. City of Tampa (8)
When last a team did sip from the Chalice of Victory, it was the City of Tampa Lightning wetting their whistles. Led by veteran (read: old) Dave Andreychuk, Nikolai Khabibulin, playoff MVP ("Conn Smythe") Brad Richards, Martin St. Louis, and perrenial Thomas Klouczek Memorial Award favorite Vincent "It's Vinny" Lecavalier, the Lightning won out over the Calgary Flames in an outstanding seven-game series. The sun descended on the NHL.
When next the sun shone on the Lightning, Andreychuk had retired to a beach in sunny Nova Scotia and Khabibulin signed in sunny Chicago, and the Lightning found themselves struggling to defend Lord Stanley's Cup.
The
Senators, in the meantime, returned one-time Next One Jason Spezza, the formerly hirstute scoring machine Daniel Alfredsson, former New York Islanders Wade Redden and Zdeno Chara, and 240-year-old goalie Dominik Hasek. Already a favorite to win the East (even I picked them), they shipped prima donna Marian "Stop Calling Me Maid" Hossa and Greg "Rules" DeVries off to Atlanta in exchange for the Most Recent Next One Dany Heatley. Fifty goals and 103 points later, I'd say that trade has worked out rather well.Robertus Predicts! Despite the goaltending questions, the Senators have far too many weapons for the City of Tampa. Somehow, this fact led one commentator to pick the Lightning in seven, leading Robertus to wonder, again, aloud How many Stanley Cups have you won, Scott Burnside?.
Ottawa in five.
Carolina (2) vs. Montreal (7)
Led by the solid goaltending of Martin "404ed" Gerber and the veteran (read: old) presence of Doug Weight, Ray Whitney, and Rod Brind'Amour, and urged on by most of their fifteen fans, the Carolina Hurricanes surprised many columnists named Robertus this season with their inspired play, finishing one point behind the Senators in the East, and taking the Southeastern division handily over first loser City of Tampa. Very quietly, or so it seemed to me, former New York Islanders coach Peter Laviolette pointed his team toward their second Stanley Cup finals.
Led
by veterans Alexi Kovalev and... veteran Alexi Kovalev, the Montreal Canadians surprised precisely nobody. The only shocker perhaps being the emergence of Cristobal "Who" Huet as a legitimate French Canadian goaltender in the mold of Patrick Roy or Andre "Red Light" Raciot, to speak not of erstwhile Roy heir Jose Theodore (unceremoniously dumped off to Colorado at the trade deadline straight up for Roy benchwarmer David Aebischer).Robertus Predicts! Although the common wisdom says "go with the higher seed," I can't shake the feeling that a hot Huet could be the difference maker in this series. Although the common wisdom says "Robertus, your gut led you to pick Pittsburgh to win the Atlantic," I can't keep from going back. I am nothing if not stubborn. Montreal in seven.
Added Bonus! As an added bonus for all of my French Canadian readers (I know you're out there, I can hear you breathing), I have decided to post all Montreal Canadian items in English and French! Unfortunately, I don't speak a word of French, and so I've decided to let the Internet do the translating for me! For extra fun, use the Internet to translate the following back into English!
Now, for the first time, I present Robertus En Francais.
Carolne (2) vs. Montréal (7)
Mené par goaltending plein de Martin "404ed" Gerber et le vétéran (lu : la vieille) présence du Doug Weight, du Ray Whitney, et du Rod Brind'Amour, et recommandé dessus par la plupart de leurs quinze ventilateurs, les ouragans de la Caroline a étonné beaucoup de chroniqueurs appelés Robertus cette saison avec leur jeu inspiré, finissant un point derrière les sénateurs dans l'est, et prenant la première ville de perdant d'excédent du sud-est de division maniablement de Tampa. Très tranquillement, ou ainsi il a semblé à moi, l'ancien entraîneur Peter Laviolette d'insulaires de New York a dirigé son équipe vers leurs deuxièmes finales de tasse de Stanley.
Mené
par des vétérans Alexi Kovalev et... le vétéran Alexi Kovalev, les Canadiens de Montréal n'a étonné avec précision personne. Le seul shocker peut-être étant l'apparition de Cristobal "qui" Huet en tant que guardien de but canadien français légitime dans le moule de Patrick Roy ou d'André "lumière rouge" Raciot, pour parler pas de l'héritier d'autrefois Jose Theodore de Roy (sans cérémonie vidé au loin au Colorado à la date-limite commerciale directement vers le haut pour benchwarmer David Aebischer de Roy).Robertus Prévoit! Bien que la sagesse commune indique "allez avec la graine plus haute," je ne peux pas secouer le sentiment qu'un Huet chaud pourrait être le fabricant de différence de cette série. Bien que la sagesse commune indique "Robertus, votre intestin vous a mené à sélectionner Pittsburgh pour gagner l'Océan atlantique," je ne peux pas garder de retourner. Je ne suis rien si non têtu. Montréal dans sept.
Bonification Supplémentaire! Comme bonification supplémentaire pour tous mes lecteurs canadiens français (je sais que vous êtes dehors là, je peux vous entendre respirer), j'ai décidé de signaler tous les articles canadiens de Montréal en anglais et français ! Malheureusement, je ne parle pas un mot de Français, et ainsi j'ai décidé laisse l'Internet fais la traduction pour moi! Pour l'amusement supplémentaire, employez l'Internet pour traduire le suivant de nouveau dans l'anglais pour vous!
News Flash! ESPN is reporting that sure-fire draft pick and former University of Southern California quarterback Matt Leinart had breakfast this morning! Details forthcoming. Now back to our irregularly scheduled weblog.
New Jersey (3) vs. New York (6)
Sitting back on the burgundy couch, I often find myself thinking fondly of my early youth, those odd peewee or bantam seasons when my team would somehow make the playoffs. Without fail, we would lose in the first round, and a coach or parent, attempting to heal our crushed and shattered hearts, would utter "at least you can say you made the playoffs."
To this, my Rangers, take note from The Big Lebowski, strong men also cry, strong men also cry.
Robertus Predicts Devils in Five
Buffalo (4) vs. Philadelphia (5)
Unfortunately, the Senators v. City of Tampa game has just come on the Outdoor Life Network, and the ADD is acting up, and I'm horribly, horribly distracted by John Tortorella's nose hairs and Tim Novak's line calls. Tim Novak once came to teach a referee clinic, and he skated me so hard I felt like throwing up for a month. For no other reason, I'm spending as much of this off season as possible on the treadmill. But I digress.
Robertus Predicts! Buffalo in six. Hooray common wisdom!
posted by robertus at 7:43 PM
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